| | 31 Ways To Make a Girl Smile:
(with commentary by me, Brooke Horan)
1. Tell her she is beautiful
-unless she's a real cow. in which case, get outta that one quick
2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.
-but half the time (ok, more than half) boys dont wash their hands after going to the bathroom. so maybe don't do that. she'd probably be pissed if she got worms or gang green or excess pee from your sickass hand.
3. Hug her from behind
-scare the crap out of her.
4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
-wonder why she didnt answer the first time?
5. Wrestle with her :)
-beat her with a sock full of oranges.
6. don't go hang out with your ex when shes not with you,
you might not relize how badly it hurts her.
-unless your ex was a fat cow and you knew to get outta that one quick. then i think she'd be ok with it. unless you're into that sorta thing. then you probably shouldnt.
7. If youre talking to another girl, when you're done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her....let her know she's yours and they aren't.
-way to feed her ego. now she'll never let you go. you better stay with that broad forever if you want to make her think shes the best peice out there. if thats your plan, then faaaantastic.
8. Write her notes or call her just to say "hi"
-you better have something better to say than "hi." i thought you were the man in this relationship? how many times have you wanted to hit a girl for just saying "hi?"
9. Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girlfriend.
-maybe she thinks your friends are hotter. then she may want to appear single. better clear that one with her first.
10. Play with her hair.
-what are you, gay? after that you should cheer her on at cheerleading. then you can both go take a pregnancy test and give yourselves a self-breast exam.
11. Pick her up (she loves it)
-she hates it
12. Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesn't like it
-get upset that shes a pansy. what girl wants to be hugged surprisingly from behind, picked up, wrestled with, but doesnt like when another guy touches her? shes lying. she just doesnt want you to know that hes packed more than you are.
13. Make her laugh
-ok. this ones a good idea. but you better be fucking funny or else you're screwed.
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.
-id say thats pretty uncomfortable. who said she ever wanted to?
15. If she's mad at you, kiss her.
-girls dont mind if you interrupt them as long as it's for a quick game of tonsil hockey. especially when they're pissed off. don't listen. just wait for a break so you can go in for the kill.
16. If you care about her, then TELL HER
-HeY! BoIz GeT nErVoUs ToO!..$%^&*
17. Every guy should give their girl 3 things: a stuffed animal(she'll hug it every time she goes to sleep), jewelry (she'll treasure it forever), and one of his t-shirts (she'll most
likely wear it to bed) or sweatshirts sprayed with his cologne!! and flowers or something occasionally.
-1. chocolate 2. dick 3. chocolate dick. get on that.
18. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you're alone.
-so...either ignore her 24/7 or hump her 24/7. im sure your friends will like that just as much.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile.
-smile. smile like the constipated fag you are.
20. Hang out with her on weekends
-why the hell havent you been? i thought this was supposed to be your girlfriend not your mother.
21.Kiss her in the rain (girls love this)
-choke her (girls die from this)
22.Kiss her just for the heck of it
-Oh Ur So SpOnTaNeOuS bIlL! I lOvE yOu BiLl! YoU'rE sO dIfFeReNt FrOm AlL tHa OtHeRz!
23. If your listening to music, let her listen too.
-especially if it's your porn track mix
24. Remember her birthday and get her something, even if its simple and inexpensive, it came from YOU. it means all the world to HER.
-if its simple and inexpensive, it came from a CEREAL BOX. it means all of $2.95 to KROGERS.
25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it, even if you don't (it'll make her happy.)
-she'll be even happier to see it in the garbage where it belongs. if you dont love it, shove it back in her face. you know shed do the same. you gotta fight fire with fire my friend.
26. Always call her when you say you will, it may not seem like it, but it does hurt her and makes her think you don't care so call even if you can only talk for a minute. Girls don't necessarily have to have hour long conversations every night but its nice for us to hear your voice even for a quick hello.
-if you dont care, you dont care. QuIt PlAyIn GaMeS wIt MuH hEaRt!..%$..^&
27. Give her what she wants
-why is that even on here? isnt that what this whole shit-list is about?
28. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
-like her zits and the dandruff in her hair.
29.dont hug her friends or your friends that are girls cause she'll feel left out.
-yeah...she'll feel left out...especially when you do that "hug and kiss her" thing after talking to girls. and when you take her back to your pad for dinner and sex. and when you buy her those "inexpensive and simple" presents. and when you buy her jewlery. and a stuffed animal. and give her all your clothes...
...tear that bitch apart.
30.hang out with her whenever you are free and u should be free to hang wit your girl friend all the time
-because, who needs a life when you can live someone elses?
31.If u care about her...SHOW her!
-FUCK her!
<3 Brooke K. Horan |
| | Posted 5/10/2006 6:55 PM - 32 Views - 2 eProps - 2 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
